"May God Have Mercy on Our Data Plan"
Parenting is hard, y'all. Not only are we expected to keep these little creatures alive, healthy, and happy, but we also have to make sure they grow up to be responsible, respectful, contributing members of society. Parents throughout the ages have had their own specific set of challenges, but the addition of screens and social media has made adulting in the 21st century particularly rough. From limiting TV time so our cherubs don't turn into little zombie monsters, to (somehow) ensuring our children are neither the victim nor aggressor in the newest epidemic of cyber bulling, technology has introduced a myriad of challenges for both parents and kids alike.
When it comes to the topic of cell phones, my brain literally melts out of my head. At what age should a child have a cell phone? What if they send or receive nudie pics?? What if they access something on the interwebs that their naive little eyes shouldn't see yet?! Luckily, my children are too young for this to be an issue right now, but it's most certainly a topic I'm keeping an eye on as I watch friends with older children dip their toes into these murky waters.
Cue my friend Karen. Not only is she hilar when it comes to her parenting style, but she's 100% honest, open, and upfront with her 4 kids. She's a "no bullshit" kind of lady. I live vicariously through her, as her children are a little older than mine - silently stalking her parenting tactics so I can copy and paste the same for my kids (just kidding. sort of).
While browsing Facespace the other day, I stumbled across a photo Karen had posted of a cell phone contract she had drafted for her 2 eldest kids. Not only did the contract cover every single possible thought, issue, or obligation you could come up with on the topic of cell phones and kids, but it was funny and straightforward.
I reached out to Karen privately and, while she admits she did lightly borrow some points from a similar contract online, she modified and adapted it to fit her personal experiences with the children for whom the contract was for.
"It's mostly because of my oldest child who finds loopholes for every situation. Like
the first year he was mobile and we had a Christmas tree...it was don't touch the tree. Then we had to add don't throw things in the tree, don't touch the tree with extensions, etc., until we finally got to don't disturb the air around the tree."
OMG right?! Kids are so smart and sneaky, it's scary. So, Karen, her husband, and their kids sat down as a family and reviewed each and every line, making sure their children fully understood what they were agreeing to before initialing.
So, why do you care about this "Karen" person and her awesome contract and well-behaved children with their shiny new phones? Well, after posting her contract on the Facespace, parents begged Karen to share a blank copy of the contract for their own use. And, today is your lucky day, my friends....now you too can copy and paste Karen's parenting skillz so you can pretend to be just as good at adulting as she is. Click the image below to download your copy!!